Revelations Quest Psychology

How many times have you heard someone say, “If that person cannot fix their own lives, how can they possibly give me the right advice/guidance about how to fix mine?” If you have not heard it, you have probably said it.

This is how most people perceive psychotherapists/psychologists. Psychotherapists/Psychologists are expected to live perfect lives, always knowing how to navigate life, relationships, careers and/or hardships. This perception negates the fact that therapists are human beings as well, and they are not immune to “life” and things happening. It is not fair to have this expectation on “us”. We are human beings. We also need help and guidance at times.

The reason I decided to get back into sharing psychoeducational content with this particular topic is because I had an epiphany of sorts. I realised that most people, including our clients and some of our colleagues, often expect our lives to be perfect, or expect us to portray our lives as such, which can be quite oppressive to the psychotherapists/mental health professionals. Which begs the question: does it mean therapists are not to live loudly, proudly, freely? Most times, a therapist disclosing certain things about themselves or their personal lives is something typically shunned/highly criticised. Well, to some degree, yes, you cannot now make the therapy session about yourself, but what if it is outside the consultation room or if it is indicated? What do I mean by this?

Sometimes, sharing one’s own personal lived experience can help the other person not feel like they are the only one experiencing it; thus normalising their experience. It can also help the other person see the therapist as a human being; strengthening the psychotherapeutic relationship as the client can feel connected to the therapist and trust them with being vulnerable. No judgement.

Of course, there are risks when it comes to disclosing personal information with a client, or anyone for that matter, as it has the possibility of challenging the dynamics of that particular relationship. In the professional/psychotherapeutic relationship, the client could start thinking, “we are friends now”, and not want to be challenged or held accountable. Hence, one has to know, by using their clinical judgment, when it could be beneficial to self-disclose. If you think about it, this rule of thumb is applicable to each and every relationship; be it professional or personal.

Now, coming back to me, Thato, the psychologist. For a few years now, I have been trying to figure out what kind of psychotherapist/psychologist I would like to be, my professional identity, so to speak. The answer I come back to is always the same: I want my clients/prospective clients to see me as a human being first. It sounds unfair, I do admit, because the reason they are reaching out to me is for my professional psychological counsel. However, I do not want them to have the expectation of me living a perfect life with no real challenges or hardships, because they will expect that in our conversations/consultations at all times. That is, expecting me to always have answers, never being “shocked/surprised” or even excited or emotional, being serious at all times, and always giving them advice, and so forth. For me to be seen in that way would feel like I’m being oppressed, as I would be expected to present a certain way at all times, at times, in an unnatural manner. I do not want that for myself, nor do I want my clients to not have an authentic experience of me. I guess that is why I am always interested in people’s lived experiences, and sharing or listening to them in a “humanly way”, if that is even a thing. Experiences are what make us feel alive and connected to others, and I would also like the same grace, as a human being. Trust me, professionalism is not necessarily out the door. It would just make the experience more authentic.

With the Revelations Quest Psychology podcast, that is exactly what I would like to do. Share lived experiences, be it my own or others’ (professionals and/or laypersons), that could be psychoeducational. A lot of people feel alone, and it is something that can be avoided. We all thrive in social contexts; whether we are aware of it or not.

So, this is me saying, let us embark on our journeys to self and wellbeing together. Realistically. At a human level.

Psychoeducational content is to be shared on the RQ Psych Website Blog Page, our YouTube page, our Instagram page, as well as the RQ Psych Podcast page. We have tried this before multiple times, but because I was trying to figure out my professional identity and trying to make sense of my feeling “oppressed”, I kept taking a few steps backwards or pausing out of fear and lack of clarity. Now, I choose to liberate myself, as a human being first, and then as a mental health clinician/professional by doing what feels natural to me.

• Instagram: @revelationsquestpsychology
• Website: www.revelationsquestpsychology.com
• Podcast Platforms: Spotify & Apple Podcasts
• YouTube Channel: Revelations Quest Psychology