Revelations Quest Psychology

I think most of us have looked at our lives and compared it to other people’s lives, right? We have tracked our success and progress, or lack thereof, using other people’s, right? If you are going to say “no”, I am giving you the side eye. I am actually surprised.

I am not judging you, but that is me just acknowledging how incredibly rare that is. This probably highlights how disciplined, or supernatural, you might be. Social comparison is normal, and it happens more often than we’d like to admit. In fact, even though it has its cons, it actually can be quite helpful. It can help us feel motivated/inspired, and encouraged to keep pushing and working hard at the things we want to achieve. But if we do it long enough, or for the wrong reasons, constantly using that to track our lives, it can make us feel like we are not achieving much in life. Thereafter, putting so much pressure on ourselves to try do/be like that other person we are comparing ourselves to. Typically, one would find themselves wanting to do anything and everything, all at once, to catch up with the other; especially if they are on a similar journey or same age-group or come from a similar background.

It is not pleasant feeling like one is running out of time. It can dampen one’s mood or perspective significantly. It can be discouraging. It is also not very fair on self. What one is doing in that moment is comparing one’s progress to the other person’s progress without knowing what it took for that person to get there, let alone, how long it took them. It means, one would be trying to live their life based on the other person’s standards and/or purpose without trying to figure out what their own would look like. Interestingly, one’s need to be so “far ahead in life” and recognised for “amazing, great things”, without considering their situations, capabilities, limitations, access to resources, and where they are at, might be an indication of their need to fill up a void they might have. What void you ask? Validation. External validation. Possibly because they did not get celebrated enough for their achievements or efforts growing up, and never learned how to do that for self; hence, always looking outward/externally for it.

Yes, the past is important in understanding why we operate in the way that we do in the present.

Food for Thought/Journaling Prompts:

• How are you living your life according to your purpose/standards?
• Where do you find yourself in your life, currently? How do you feel about that? What contributed to this position you find yourself in?
• What changes would you have to make in and around self to feel like you are living a purposeful, authentic life?

Perhaps, this is something you can explore in therapy. Therapy is great way to gain insight and see how you can make more healthier decisions. We have to figure ourselves out first.