Revelations Quest Psychology

“I thought I was getting better”

Have you ever found yourself rushing your healing process? Perhaps, even feeling upset that you got triggered by something? If you have answered yes to these questions, then you probably have asked yourself if one ever heals from emotional pain or trauma. It is a difficult question to answer, but a more succinct and realistic answer would be, “No, not really”.

You might be surprised that this is the answer. You might even begin to question psychotherapy if it means one does not heal from the pain or trauma experienced. Understandably so. We all experience pain and/or trauma. However, not all those experiences are significant enough to leave such an emotional scar to a point where we get triggered every time we see, remember, or experience something that reminds us of the incident that caused the pain/trauma. Some experiences are so significant, that they are not very easy to forget or get over. It is normal. As intimidating as this may seem, the best way to deal with such an uncomfortable experience, is to experience it.

What most people do, as a way of trying to lessen the pain is to try ignore it; distract themselves with other things or people. Not healthy at all. It works, yes, but only for a short period of time. With this type of coping strategy, one finds themselves being overwhelmed when triggered and not knowing what to do with the feelings and thoughts they are experiencing.

Welcoming the experience, as tedious and scary as it is, is usually helpful. Talking about the pain or experience, as well as allowing oneself to feel what ever feelings accompany the content (verbal, visual, auditory, etc.) helps desensitize one from it. Desensitized, one would be better able to tolerate the pain, as it would not be as intense. In addition, if having found the best or healthy ways of coping with the pain and/or triggers, it will feel like one has healed from the experience. However, it is still possible to get triggered again. This would not mean that one is regressing or not healing, but it would mean that the pain from the initial incident is quite significant for one.

So, to answer the question: No, we cannot really say we are 100% healed from the traumas or pain we have experienced, especially if they were quite significant. Healing is not linear. It is an ongoing process and can be influenced by various things. What is important in the journey to healing, is to not be too hard on oneself, and to welcome all feelings and thoughts. It is all part of the process.